Hesito Adamo
by Evlon
Summary: Grimmjow is as always annoying Ulquiorra, however, it seems that Ulquiorra has some sinister plots in mind. Serious humor writing style. M rated for language only. GrimmUlqui sorta


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**Author's Notes**

First of all I would like to point out that I unfortunately do not have the singular pleasure to own Bleach, how do I know this? Well lets just say a few certain characters would receive a hell of a lot more air time!

Secondly, I would like to point out that this writing is, and was never meant to be serious! Also, while I may have a few pretty words and a technique to some how manage to string my thoughts into semi comprehensible words I am foremost an illustrator and occasionally an author. I only aspire to the first and delude myself that I am the later. Oh yes, back to the non serious bit, this is actually biased upon some of the conversations I have with the few people willing to put up with me.

At this point I am unsure as to whether this will have future chapters or be left as a stand alone work.

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**I. Adficio  
**

His brush worked hurriedly but cautiously as the same time. Quickly transforming the pristine white walls of the room into a collection in possible techniques and poses between a certain espada with green eyes and his orange haired charge. Grimmjow furrowed his brow as he thought out a rather tricky pose, the center piece of his work, right above Ulquiorra's bed, and consequently the first thing one would see once you were past the door. He had to hurry now, time was almost up for tonights artistic adventures.

A slightly sadistic smirk danced across his lips as he stole away into the darkness of the corridors thus escaping the scene of his latest enterprise. These were becoming a usual undertaking for Grimmjow. He would carefully plan out how best to attempt any emotion from his pasty faced prey. This week he had thought rather cleaver all things considered. Aizen had taken up more of his planning time than he would have liked, but the girl that had been fetched back from the human world had sparked rather interesting ideas in his less than pristine mind...

Once he had disposed of the paints in one of the many rooms of Los Noches' winding hallways he had wound his way in indirect paths and switch backs to prevent any that may have seen him leaving Ulquiorra's room only moments ago. With one last shifty glance over his shoulder he slid into his lair and stretched on his bed to look up at his favorite work of a beautiful dark skinned, blond haired blue eyed woman, a real woman. _Ah her legs just go on for miles. What I wouldn't give to search for her hollow hole some night..._

* * *

Ulquiorra's prevalently blank expression hid the disgust, and loathing he had for this new task that Aizen had given him. "_Check on our guest often and regularly. Be sure to know all of her needs are tended to." Perhaps I can at least be safe in the knowledge that the menial task may be delegated to those whom are more suited to do such. _ This however also meant that he would have to check that those he chose for certain task were in fact doing them. _Which requires more of my time._ Hurried on his way by the nagging feeling that all was not right he soon found himself at the door of his rooms.

Slit pupils narrowed in displeasure as they glanced over their owner's new room décor. _Death would need to be excruciating to pay him back for this latest insult. No, he needed better than death, for no matter how slow it would be far far to kind. _ His antagonizer had a fair hand at painting, that much could at least be said. However, the subject lit in Ulquiorra the need for revenge. _Though it is a good likeness of the woman, but I most assuredly would not be interested in assuming that pose._ This would be the last of these increasingly annoying pranks.

Ulquiorra quickly preformed sonídoto reach Szayel's lab mostly unnoticed. The scientist had proposed some rather interesting research in the last meeting Aizen had called. It had not been tested quite yet and Szayel was now, with out a doubt, in desperate need to carry out his investigations with willing test subjects or not. This was most fortunate for Ulquiorra to say the least. "Szayel, I have a rather intriguing proposition for you."

"Oh?" He raised one pink eyebrow in perplexity at the normally silent espada suddenly appearing in his lavatory, "You make rather curious and interesting statements, Ulquiorra Schiffer. I must also be correct in my assumption that you are here in regards to some personal matter and not as Aizen-sama's messenger?"

"Correct. I have a subject in mind for the investigation of rescindance you brought up in the last meeting."

"I can make the additional assumption that this subject you offer has blue hair and a weakness for women? If so I will have a serum coded to his particulars before this week is out and have it delivered discreetly to your room." Suddenly the mad scientist had replaced the normally calm and collected man.

"Precisely." Ulquiorra turned and vanished from sight, leaving the laboratory and its inhabitants to do that which they performed like a form of art.

* * *

Today he would attend the weekly meeting Aizen required of the espada, but only for the potential amusement that Ulquiorra's reaction to last night's escapade should bring. Walking leisurely down the hall towards the meeting room his mind played out possible scenarios; _He will be so angry he wont even be able to have a straight face! Or no! Better! He probably went and tested out my suggestions! _ He sat smugly in his seat and smirked towards Ulquiorra's empty seat. Only to notice Szayel giving him a rather similar look. _What the fucking hell is his problem? _Grimmjow glared at the pink haired man trying to figure out just what was going on. As fate would have it, Ulquiorra came and sat at the table before he was even noticed entering the room. He wore the same stoic face as ever, Grimmjow wanted to jump over the table and give him a good punch to the face for having no emotions.

Disappointment, Grimmjow tasted its bitter flavor all that week after there was no reaction to the mural he had left in his wake. Daring to return to the crime scene before their normal tryst would take place to ensure that his efforts had not gone in vain he had arrived to see his master piece still proudly displayed above the bed. _So what fucking gives? He should have tired to cero the shit out of me by now._ Fingers combed though electric blue hair in an attempt to coax an answer from the rhythmic motion. The most answer they gave him was to take this quip a bit further.

He then turned and left to gather his paint supplies from their hiding place. _This time damn it he will not be able to ignore me. Damn him for always looking down on me! _ He fumed as he stormed down the halls back towards Ulquiorra's chambers.

* * *

Watching from the shadows he saw as Grimmjow left his quarters. Silently his feet carried him away from the nitch he had been laying in wait for this moment. He walked into his room and opened the dresser; he stared dispassionately down at the small gift Szayel had left there for him along with a small note.

_This is the research I promised you. I am unsure as to if it shall work on an Espada, hence the _

_experimentation. I would like to have detailed notes on the results of its use._

_-__Szayel Aporro Granz, Octava Espada  
_

A wicked spark played through his eyes as he set the ambiguous silver canister on the floor of his room. Tonight was the night which he had long awaited in which may have been the longest week of his life. Tonight was the night that he would drink from the sweet cup of vengeance. He soon left the room knowing all to well that very soon that perhaps his least favorite of the arrancar would have an experience he would not soon forget. With this uplifting thought in mind he sauntered off to full fill the duties Aizen had set him.

He returned quickly to his hiding place after rushing through his duties. Grimmjow was taking a rather long time in getting back, and from the way he had left Ulquiorra was rather sure that he was intent on coming back. Just as he was about to give up on this scheme working today Jaegerjaques slinked around the corner with a box of paints in hand. Only his eyes moved as they followed the movements of the intruder into his quarters.

* * *

_  
Damn Yami, what was he doing in the back halls at just that moment. He used too much of my time, Ulquiorra will be back any moment! I'll have to do this much faster than planned. _Something felt wrong; he turned quickly and scanned the hall to either side of the room. _Nothing is there, stop wasting your time. _ He turned to look back in the room, and a silver canister met his inquisitive eyes, they scanned the room to be sure he was alone. Once confirmed that he was indeed the only person in the room he set down his load and walked to the small metal tube. _What could this be? I have never know Ulquiorra's room to be anything but spotless... _

Before his outreached hand could touch the object the top opened and pink smoke poured out. _A trap! That bastard set a trap for me! _He knew that he had to get away quickly but something was very wrong. His legs didn't want to move, in fact he found that at some point he had fallen to his knees, and from the air rushing past his face he could conclude that he was now falling forward. _Shit, shit, shit. I have... I have to... get... out..._ Conciseness fled him before he could hit the floor.

Eyes sprang open only to be tightly shut against the brightness of the room. _Damn, where the fuck am I? _ He squinted on eye back open and momentarily stopped breathing as he recognized the room. _Damn it! No, just think you wouldn't still be here if he knew. And damn it why am I laying on the floor? _He quickly spotted the silver canister which brought back the slightly fuzzy memory of the moments right before he had blacked out. Slowly he rolled himself over experience told him not to sit up right away, to just breath. However, his gut said he needed to get out of there before anyone found him.

Slowly, ever so slowly he was able to sit up and crawl to his knees. _Whatever the fuck was in that canister it damn near wiped out all of my energy._ He turned to walk out the door and froze. Standing right outside the door was Ulquiorra. _Damn it! And I could only swear if the bastard knew how to laugh he would be doubled over right now. Shit I don't have the strength to explain what the hell I was doing in HIS room. Damn, I can't let him know that either. _One step, and then another, he was slowly becoming less unsteady as anger fueled his muscles.

* * *

The time it took Grimmjow to notice him watching was quite bemusing. That followed be the shock and delayed reactions almost made him want to laugh. Almost. He quickly vanquished the emotions as Grimmjow started a charge towards him. If Szayel's calculations had been wrong then this would only serve to piss the espada off even more. However, he would still have a rather angry Grimmjow on his hands at any rate, might as well add more fuel to the fire.

Ulquiorra retched into his pocket and removed a ball of yarn and tossed it into the air between them. This is when the magic of science made dealing with Szayel all worthwhile. Before his very eyes he could see the rapid changes in Grimmjow's appearance happening; at first it appeared as though he was shifting into his released state, but it did not stop at that point. Instincts had reacted to make him change his trajectory so that now he was leaping up towards the yarn ball and Ulquiorra now had a good view of what Grimmjow had looked like as an Arrancar. The Arrancar shape held for a few seconds, but was getting visibly smaller as he neared the yarn.

_Timing is everything, and right now I would say it has hit perfection. Going from how long it took for his mind to register my presence and form a plan I can only guess as to the time it will take for him to notice this...  
_

* * *

_  
Yarn! Yarn! Yarn! Wait damn it! Why am I fucking playing with this?!_ Immediately he stopped rolling on the floor with the bright red yarn ball that had been his 'prize' for a few moments. Again he ran towards Ulquiorra and leaped at him, however this time something very odd happened. Ulquiorra merely caught him out of the air, and from what Grimmjow could see this had taken no effort. _This is not right. I am missing something and its pissing me off! Damn you Ulquiorra, damn you! _

Somehow he was hanging by skin off the back of his neck; somehow he seemed to be much smaller than Ulquiorra now; somehow he seemed to have a tail and flexible ears... Eyes went large and round and the body limp as the brain made the necessary connections. _Damn you Ulquiorra, I don't know how you've done it, but somehow you've done...this, whatever the hell you call it. Damn Szayel had a name for this. _His eyes glared with pure hatred at his captor, tail flicking in mute feline rage.

'Damn you Ulquiorra! What the fuck do you think you are doing?!' Or at least he meant to say that, the angry snarling and hisses that he had made while they perhaps got the message of his anger across, did not do justice to the depths of this rage at that moment. Seeing the glimmer of laughter in Ulquiorra's eyes ticked Grimmjow off further; all he could think of were ways to sink his fangs and claws into that bastard's face.

* * *

"Your struggle is in vain, you serve only to tire yourself out. Why fight when the odds were clearly in my favor before this? Is it because you cannot stand to be weaker than another?" The pissed flailings of the cat in his out reached hand ceased as Grimmjow looked to be considering his words. During the pause Ulquiorra quickly hugged the cat close to this chest in order to get a better hold. He was warm, very warm. The door closed, thus entrapping the transformed Grimmjow in the room until Ulquiorra decided to release him, or the chemicals wore off. The small body tensed as he realized the predicament he was now in.

"You are still a pet Grimmjow, mine now, however, rather than Aizen's. He has no need for someone like you." His thumb unconsciously began to rub the small skull in his grasp. The fur was surprisingly soft, for he had half expected the same armor like covering as his released form. Ulquiorra looked down at his prisoner awaiting the next outburst when a loud vibrating noise caught his attention. _What is this? No, not growling, it sounds pleased. Ah, this must be what they call purring. It is almost a shame how easily I can manipulate his emotions.  
_

* * *

The strokes on the top of his head caused a very strange sensation, but not unpleasant. His body relaxed and a rumbling started from his very core. It was something he had forgotten about long ago, an expression of his happiness and peace with the world. His ears perked, Ulquiorra was saying something.. but he was having problems paying attention.. _Damn it what the fuck are you doing to me?!_ Grimmjow wanted to scream out, to rend and tear at the espada holding him.

Claim broken he clawed and bit at the arm pinning him down. The futility of it was obvious that Ulquiorra's hierro was more than enough to prevent any damage to his pale skin, but Grimmjow took no heed as he fought against that grip.

'I want down! I want you to turn me back to normal! And I want to kick your fucking ass NOW!' Of course they only came out as screeches that grated against even his own ears. Grimmjow could see it, there was a slightly amused look to the pale, emotionless prick. Enraged as this made him, it also caused him to stop the useless flailing. _I'll be damned if I'll be the cause of anyone's amusement!  
_

* * *

"Now that you have claimed yourself and resigned yourself to being my pet you will learn the rules. First off you are not to leave the room. Secondly everything in this room is mine, therefore you are not to leave any trace of yourself upon it. Lastly you are to ensure that my room stays just as it is. Otherwise it is possible to make your predicament worse than you have already made it." With his somewhat long speech done he unceremoniously dropped the feline to the floor.

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_**Author's Notes**_

_Now then if I some out manage to escape rabid fan girls for beating me black and blue I shall write another because I am a horrible person and have left you with a cliff hanger! (Please insert evil laughter of choice here). Also I would like to thank my dear friend NickelBleach for numerous checks on my grammar, messed up spellings and OOC-ness, therefore I demand that you go read her writings while I keep you waiting on the next chapter of this silly little thing I'm calling a story!_

_When you review I would greatly appreciate that you would include what you like, didn't like and anything that you think might be comical to see happen with this situation! I of course have a plot line of sorts with many things that I will try to incorporate, however, seeing as I am just making the whole thing up as I go along better ideas can easily be used in the story line! I am not however putting any sex scenes in this, as I do not feel that would add to it in any way, please respect this when considering possible content.  
_

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